Memoirs

Its been a heavy very heavy day 2. I wrote this Piece some time back. Today, my second day of moving away from a particular unhealthy addiction saw me going through heartache so heavy i almost died. i tell am kinda counting the days. stuff has been happening. lots of stuff...on all fronts. And stuff happened. we kissed and made up. But then I keep asking myself Why I love so hard, people find it easy to hurt- or maybe Why I hurt so easily yet I love so hard. AM I trying so hard? Oh well....am posting this post because i cant seem to finish writing it

Sitting here listening to  Jill Scott  croon away her  A long walk  as the month fades out. The sun has more or less gone to bed. I should be in my bed too but these things of being an adult usually keep me up late. whatcha y'all thinkin? huh? Alright, am visiting a friend, yeah a friend who by the way wants me to get off his computer or he walks out on me!! can you imagine such meanness!!! really? This guy can be mean. After all the smiles i sent his way the whole evening? Can you imagine that? Really? Well, its today morning. The day after last night. "  I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have s...

Day one passed. i craved and assuaged my craving. yes am broken...giving in to my craving is step one to my healing.... The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating In the pain, there is healing In your name I find meaning So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on I'm barely holdin' on to you The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead I still see your reflection inside of my eyes That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating In the pain (in the pain), is there healing In your name (in your name) I f...

Day zero-not fair This is my life and it's my right to live The way I want to live each day That's what I wanna say And this is my song And for too long I sang someone else's melody It wasn't really me Somehow I took myself for granted In someone else's eyes I saw reflections of a girl I was who caught me by surprise Seein' a woman who's defined by you, I never realized I can't love you, I can't love me through someone else's eyes You were the sun, I was the one who just Revolved around you day and night You were my only life but if I were free Baby, I'd take control of everything inside of me Find who I wanna be I'd never take myself for granted In someone else's eyes I saw reflections of a girl I was who caught me by surprise Seein' a woman who's defined by you, I never realized I can't love you, I can't love me in someone else's eyes I gotta show myself I can still exist without a man. Gotta finally take control...

July 1, 2013. That's right.... New month is here. Not just new month but a whole half year is gone by. Full of drama, heartaches and all one would think the clocks would stop and give one a chance to correct mistakes but nope.... Time waits for no one. Tick went the clock. This month i turn a year older.. Second time am mentioning it in three days. It must be bigger than am willing to admit. My birrhday is supposed to be the day i start over....laughable However, i will make an effort to read my bible and grow everyday. I know i'll miss a few days but hey am human (weak). Imperfect progress is my July theme. Everyday for the next 30 days, i will do somerhing different. Random different things... I wont list them. I don't know them... I want to surprise me. Anyone waiting for me to please them might have a long time in the queue.. Infact they shd ger themselves some readinf material. I recommend  This  or  This one  or  Here  and  My All Time Favorite ....

Started writing this post at the end of last month. Had written one sentence which wad typo infested i just had to start all over again. So, we will keep the title. And yeah, been thinking of starting all over again. But this procrastination just wont break up with me. Spent a week, lots of wrong acts to start this paragraph. Wait, i should prolly date them paragraphs. So, here i am. Sitting at a friend's desk. Listening to Justin Timberlake's  Mirrors . And am asking myself why i find it hard to let go. Why am always on the defensive? Two days later- Again. This time round, we gonna do this. So, Location is my work desk. It's a Friday, should be heading home but am sitting here. And i feel this energy. This writing energy. Alot has been happening, the whole world is thinking about  Nelson Mandela . He's ill. And we don't want to let him go. See, Change is not an easy thing to do. Finishing this post has not been an easy task. Making and sticking to resolutions is j...