When the Sun goes down on you........ It still shines on another
This week, and the one that came before it have been quite emotional. Emotional highs and lows.
I know, I am an overly emotional being... but these last seven days have been... well, not something I will forget any time soon.
I will take you way back to The Friday of last week.... got into a few altercations with people I hold dear and close to my heart. Reasons.... they were many. Ranging from heart problems to trust issues.
That week, I learnt a lot about human kind and how far they would go to appear the saints.
How far they would go to get what they want. I must say... my admiration for many of these people greatly waned.
Then came the highlight or rather lowest part of this time. Death struck! It struck!!! A young man barely thirty along with others perished in an accident... A terrible road accident. He left behind a little girl and her Mother along with many friends and family.
Then A young woman who was set to make 31 years of age passed on as she was bringing another life into this world. Monique left behind 3 boys. One of them a father to the other two and her husband. Dennis.... Not sure i know what to say. Nothing anyone says can ease the ache.
Death.
Its been described by some as a fullstop in the middle of a sentence. Totally makes no sense sometimes. I mean.... As a child one has plans, dreams and hopes. Then bang!!! Yo dead. Just like that. The plans for your next birthday party are there... Never to be implemented.
But just because your sun has gone down on you, it does not mean it has stopped shining elsewhere. Your passing will be acknowledged by a church service and they will mourn your passing.
But their lives wont stop just because yours did. The traffic jam along Kampala road will be just as terrible on a Friday afternoon.
You will be honored by a moment of silence. Yes. And many will reflect on their own lives but that is that.
The smiles, the passionate love making sessions, the gifts, acts of kindness, tantrums... And all that which defined you will be reduced to a moment of silence. Half a minute.
And then you will be gone. I'm a mother. Am sure my children will live on but how long will they be referred to as 'Mauryn's children'... Not long after am gone.
So, this week. As it comes to an end. Am faced with a huge decision to make. A life threatening decision. And its made though am trying to convince myself that i haven't. I just pray I live through it.
And then riding on that tide. I'm owning my life once again. I have given so much to people that i hardly remember much of me. I've been at the beck and call of some and it just hit me that they came to rely on it so much so that they took my availability for granted.
Then friends who have a problem staying straight with me then they go behind my back and say lots of negative things about me and then come round to my face and pretend. Those too.... Am throwing out. I'd rather be alone from now on than continue smiling with liars and people who take my smile for granted.
See, I didnt know how to be a girl until much recently. And there are some girl attributes that i will.never be okay with. Its not that I do not remember the wrongs am done, its just that i choose not to dwell on them. So i trust. I go around with a naivety halo. Many are fooled into thinking am a fool.
From today, for every 15 minutes i give to the world, am taking 20 for my self.
For when my sun is setting, i want to be able to appreciate the landscape and the beautiful kaleidoscope that comes with African sunsets.
When i lie on my deathbed... I dont want to regret. So i will not give anyone who causes me pain anymore of my time.
I reclaim my daylight. I reclaim my heart and today.... I give it to all to Jesus Christ.
Thank you Jesus for saving me.
For the fallen comrades.... I pray we meet in a better place.
Village Girl
I know, I am an overly emotional being... but these last seven days have been... well, not something I will forget any time soon.
I will take you way back to The Friday of last week.... got into a few altercations with people I hold dear and close to my heart. Reasons.... they were many. Ranging from heart problems to trust issues.
That week, I learnt a lot about human kind and how far they would go to appear the saints.
How far they would go to get what they want. I must say... my admiration for many of these people greatly waned.
Then came the highlight or rather lowest part of this time. Death struck! It struck!!! A young man barely thirty along with others perished in an accident... A terrible road accident. He left behind a little girl and her Mother along with many friends and family.
Then A young woman who was set to make 31 years of age passed on as she was bringing another life into this world. Monique left behind 3 boys. One of them a father to the other two and her husband. Dennis.... Not sure i know what to say. Nothing anyone says can ease the ache.
Death.
Its been described by some as a fullstop in the middle of a sentence. Totally makes no sense sometimes. I mean.... As a child one has plans, dreams and hopes. Then bang!!! Yo dead. Just like that. The plans for your next birthday party are there... Never to be implemented.
But just because your sun has gone down on you, it does not mean it has stopped shining elsewhere. Your passing will be acknowledged by a church service and they will mourn your passing.
But their lives wont stop just because yours did. The traffic jam along Kampala road will be just as terrible on a Friday afternoon.
You will be honored by a moment of silence. Yes. And many will reflect on their own lives but that is that.
The smiles, the passionate love making sessions, the gifts, acts of kindness, tantrums... And all that which defined you will be reduced to a moment of silence. Half a minute.
And then you will be gone. I'm a mother. Am sure my children will live on but how long will they be referred to as 'Mauryn's children'... Not long after am gone.
So, this week. As it comes to an end. Am faced with a huge decision to make. A life threatening decision. And its made though am trying to convince myself that i haven't. I just pray I live through it.
And then riding on that tide. I'm owning my life once again. I have given so much to people that i hardly remember much of me. I've been at the beck and call of some and it just hit me that they came to rely on it so much so that they took my availability for granted.
Then friends who have a problem staying straight with me then they go behind my back and say lots of negative things about me and then come round to my face and pretend. Those too.... Am throwing out. I'd rather be alone from now on than continue smiling with liars and people who take my smile for granted.
See, I didnt know how to be a girl until much recently. And there are some girl attributes that i will.never be okay with. Its not that I do not remember the wrongs am done, its just that i choose not to dwell on them. So i trust. I go around with a naivety halo. Many are fooled into thinking am a fool.
From today, for every 15 minutes i give to the world, am taking 20 for my self.
For when my sun is setting, i want to be able to appreciate the landscape and the beautiful kaleidoscope that comes with African sunsets.
When i lie on my deathbed... I dont want to regret. So i will not give anyone who causes me pain anymore of my time.
I reclaim my daylight. I reclaim my heart and today.... I give it to all to Jesus Christ.
Thank you Jesus for saving me.
For the fallen comrades.... I pray we meet in a better place.
Village Girl
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