January 2015- a recap
The last time I posted a memoir was in error. One that got me panicked so bad I pulled down the whole blog. My intention was never to hurt anyone or scandalize anybody for that matter.
I decided (was forced to decide) not to write down anything. Not that nothing was happening wherever I have been, a lot has indeed been happening but for the love of reading, I didn't feel the urge to write. Always had one excuse or another. I told myself, when I get a new laptop and phone I will start writing- that I did and still could not even write a Haiku.
January has been a beautiful month and as equally dull. I found myself addicted to Candy Crush there was little else I could think of. Candy Crush has been my cigarette, my coffee, my pillow and my teddy bear when I needed to let something out. Ah, that and a non-friend of mine to whom I had become so addicted to talking to, they seemed to be my other Candy Crush. Well, until they decided to push me out of their lives. But anyway, that is not news. I seem to not know how to keep a relationship (platonic or other) for long. Apart from with Candy Crush.
Away from my personal addictions and failures, I learned a few things about myself. No matter how much I pretend not to care about the world, I can not afford not to care.
Take for instance two nights ago. I was busy watching Smallville (another addiction)- a scene where Lana was asking Lex for a favor that was sure to hurt Clark. So yeah, I was busy getting busy with the fantasy world of Smallville when I heard a little voice calling out to a Jajja. At first, I thought it was one of my own, but I'd tucked those into bed an hour before and I was sure they were already dreaming about using their new shoes and school bags already. But I went and checked on them, just to be sure.
The voice kept calling out-So I opened my window and there at my neighbor's house porch was a boy not older than my own 4 year old Lexi. He was calling out but the person who was in inside was playing loud music I doubt they could hear a thing. Instinctively, I turned off the TV, and walked out of the house to go help the young man knock at the door. By the time I got out, he had gone round the house to knock at the back door. I waited just to be sure. A minute or so later, I saw him emerge from the shadows and he was talking out loud to himself about what he should do and where he should pass when going back to where he had come from.
My heart broke. I walked to him from my shadows - Now, there is a hedge at my house so my emerging from the 'bushes' scared him so bad, he screamed so loud but still the person inside the house could not hear his screams. When he recognized me as Mama Taira, he ran towards me. The mother in me couldn't stop crying as I held his small frame until his heartbeat normalized. Together, we knocked at the Jajja's door until he opened. For some reason, I expected a frail looking Jajja but it was a young vibrant Jajja with a towel wrapped around his waist. Munching loudly while talking to us.
He couldn't believe the young man was scared of walking back to the bar where his mother and Grandmother were working. He closed the door to our faces when the boy told him he'd put his drinking water at the back door! And I wanted to punch this old man right there. I wish I had punched him.
So, I asked the young man where the bar was and why he couldn't stay with Jajja- little man says, they sleep at the bar with his Mom and he was going to start school soon because he had made enough money serving at the bar. His father? "I don't know where he is, maybe he is in the village"
I walked him to this bar and dude! it's quite some distance. With rowdy motorbike riders, drunkards and prostitutes I was scared for myself as I walked back home. It was an 8 minute walk from home to the bar and 8 minutes back!
I was angry. I am angry. Angry at myself for not noticing that I had new neighbors who have a little boy. A boy who has to be in bed by 9 pm and not walking the streets, hungry and cold to deliver drinking water to his grandfather who does not care much about his little life.
The little boy knew me enough to trust me but I didn't know him before that night. I asked him to never hesitate to come knock at my door if ever he was scared of the road. I pray and hope he comes. One of these days, when I''m home before the bar opens, I intend to talk to the Mother and ask her to let him spend the evenings at my house. I know it might not be right but he is just a baby. Needs to get his baby sleep on.
Apart from the Candy crush, Smallville and misunderstood relationships, Life has happened. Some moments good, some bad others bland. And still, I will crush my Candy.
Happy new year folks.
I decided (was forced to decide) not to write down anything. Not that nothing was happening wherever I have been, a lot has indeed been happening but for the love of reading, I didn't feel the urge to write. Always had one excuse or another. I told myself, when I get a new laptop and phone I will start writing- that I did and still could not even write a Haiku.
January has been a beautiful month and as equally dull. I found myself addicted to Candy Crush there was little else I could think of. Candy Crush has been my cigarette, my coffee, my pillow and my teddy bear when I needed to let something out. Ah, that and a non-friend of mine to whom I had become so addicted to talking to, they seemed to be my other Candy Crush. Well, until they decided to push me out of their lives. But anyway, that is not news. I seem to not know how to keep a relationship (platonic or other) for long. Apart from with Candy Crush.
Away from my personal addictions and failures, I learned a few things about myself. No matter how much I pretend not to care about the world, I can not afford not to care.
Take for instance two nights ago. I was busy watching Smallville (another addiction)- a scene where Lana was asking Lex for a favor that was sure to hurt Clark. So yeah, I was busy getting busy with the fantasy world of Smallville when I heard a little voice calling out to a Jajja. At first, I thought it was one of my own, but I'd tucked those into bed an hour before and I was sure they were already dreaming about using their new shoes and school bags already. But I went and checked on them, just to be sure.
The voice kept calling out-So I opened my window and there at my neighbor's house porch was a boy not older than my own 4 year old Lexi. He was calling out but the person who was in inside was playing loud music I doubt they could hear a thing. Instinctively, I turned off the TV, and walked out of the house to go help the young man knock at the door. By the time I got out, he had gone round the house to knock at the back door. I waited just to be sure. A minute or so later, I saw him emerge from the shadows and he was talking out loud to himself about what he should do and where he should pass when going back to where he had come from.
My heart broke. I walked to him from my shadows - Now, there is a hedge at my house so my emerging from the 'bushes' scared him so bad, he screamed so loud but still the person inside the house could not hear his screams. When he recognized me as Mama Taira, he ran towards me. The mother in me couldn't stop crying as I held his small frame until his heartbeat normalized. Together, we knocked at the Jajja's door until he opened. For some reason, I expected a frail looking Jajja but it was a young vibrant Jajja with a towel wrapped around his waist. Munching loudly while talking to us.
He couldn't believe the young man was scared of walking back to the bar where his mother and Grandmother were working. He closed the door to our faces when the boy told him he'd put his drinking water at the back door! And I wanted to punch this old man right there. I wish I had punched him.
So, I asked the young man where the bar was and why he couldn't stay with Jajja- little man says, they sleep at the bar with his Mom and he was going to start school soon because he had made enough money serving at the bar. His father? "I don't know where he is, maybe he is in the village"
I walked him to this bar and dude! it's quite some distance. With rowdy motorbike riders, drunkards and prostitutes I was scared for myself as I walked back home. It was an 8 minute walk from home to the bar and 8 minutes back!
I was angry. I am angry. Angry at myself for not noticing that I had new neighbors who have a little boy. A boy who has to be in bed by 9 pm and not walking the streets, hungry and cold to deliver drinking water to his grandfather who does not care much about his little life.
The little boy knew me enough to trust me but I didn't know him before that night. I asked him to never hesitate to come knock at my door if ever he was scared of the road. I pray and hope he comes. One of these days, when I''m home before the bar opens, I intend to talk to the Mother and ask her to let him spend the evenings at my house. I know it might not be right but he is just a baby. Needs to get his baby sleep on.
Apart from the Candy crush, Smallville and misunderstood relationships, Life has happened. Some moments good, some bad others bland. And still, I will crush my Candy.
Happy new year folks.
The poor little untainted soul! I feel 4 his kind!
ReplyDeleteIt's painful. I can only imagine what kind of man he will grow into if he continues to hang out in a bar to make his school tuition!
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