Memoirs

Staring into the dark, listening to the dogs bark and all manner of night sounds. Time Check: 3:00 A.m Micah is sleeping, everyone is asleep. And am awake. Had an interesting conversation with my favorite cousin-Jojo earlier on. Well, I was rumbling on and on about how sad, scared I am. Scared of letting everyone who believes in me down-and oh gurl, lotsa people blv in me Young and old alike, they all think Mauryn has a solution to their problem. From fixing broken toys to helping heal broken hearts. And everything in between. Even my daughters know Mummy will fix anything they break. Just take it to her and smile, she'll make it work once again. Give Mauryn 30k and she'll feed the family for a week! Oh yes I do that. Even my significant other parent knows, give Mauryn 40k and she'll take care of 3 children for  a month!  If that much of a super heroine, why is my heart in shambles? Why can't I believe in myself. My bosses believe in me. My colleagues at work believe in...

4 weeks old Its been a while young man. Someday, soon I know, we'll be discussing how ya day went at home, then pre-school, then main school and I can't wait for the day I'll be asking after my grand kids and their Mum. Hello Micah, your maternal grandma prefers to call you MAN(Micah Adam Namuyimba). We simply love you all. You might be wondering what the heck is up with your sisters.....hate to say this Son, but I told you so. They be weird like that....I heard a few days ago, one of them wanted you to carry her on your lap!! Imagine that. Well, be assured that they love you alot. Your coming into our lives marked the beginning of a very special era. Especially in my life. Daddy, left for good just before you were born. His new lady love moved in with him just before you came here. He made a choice and I just couldn't make him change his mind. Right now, you  might be wondering why he does not stay with us, why he shows up only once every few weeks. and soon he won...

"let go Mauryn". "Its ok" "You'll be fine". Thanks fans, I know y'all mean well. "I love you Moryn, more than I love her" "Am confused, i feel like am cheating on you" "Mauryn, I miss you, and my family" "I want my family back"..... And on you went Ram. but all I was hearing was ...."you aint good enough". "You aint rich enough...you can't buy me a movie ticket" "She's richer, wears high heels, well studied....moryn, you can't measure up". Ram, 6 years, 3 kids, we prayed for a boy child and God gave us one. And the best thanks we give God is a broken family! How grateful humans can be! I won't lie about my state of things. Am hurting. Hurting. Hurting. What I dont understand is why you have to let me know. Show me. Even id i dont ask. People who usually do this, have pity on the afflicted party and spare them the details. Would you reallu love someone if you didn...

Well maybe a little too drastic for some people's tastes. But then again, how much longer will i stand for this? This thing that eludes a name. I always give in, am always the lenient one, the one who cares, the one who's always sorry am the one who always catches his falls. Yeah, its like he needs me just to prove he can be man enough when all else fails, even when his own mother and sisters turn their backs on him he knows i'll give him a back rub and laugh with him back to good times and standing with his family, friends and bosses that's when he forgets about me. Not just me, but the children too. Children he claims he loves so much he can't live without. these are the same children he wont share his money with. but for some reason he's always busy working. Can't even afford to make a phonecall from his office desk phone to just talk to the girls, because that usually makes them happy for a few days until he calls again or shows up. To him its a bother. ...

Its been a while since we spoke. but  hey, never doubt for moment that u r loved. you are cherished my dear boy. Even with the sleepless nights that your kicks and turns sometimes cause, I cherish you. I love and cherish each and everyone of those rowdy sometimes gentle movements. We await your great arrival. It wont be long now. Soon, you'll put faces to the voices you've heard, and there will be new faces and voices too. Mummy will be here for as long as you want her to. I love you my son. Truly do love you. Hugs and Kisses

Blank Stare? Seriously? After tossing and turning the whole night and having quite lots to say last evening! Wow. You surely have done a number on me. I can't believe the blubber mouth in me insists on staying in the background. Turned a new year yesterday and with it am hoping i turned i new leaf. This time for real. Been saying this over and over and over and yet i keep going back to the same old things. Unresolved arguments, silent treatments, three weeks of no communication and then just when my wounds seem to be healing you show up. and the cycle starts all over again. Well, this year I plan and I want things to be very different. " Juliet has left the Balcony " This Romeo and Juliet thing has come to an end. I didnt know i had it in me to put an end to it. But I do. and am taking that power and using it. I know what it feels like to be in a normal relationship. I had that for 5 months before you came in with your grand plans. You painted a picture so clear and so bi...

I know somethings may not make sense to you right now.... I get the feeling most of the time... Oh well, we'll have to take it one sweet little step at a time. No matter how painful these steps might turn out, we'll take them and we'll get there. was telling your sisters about you yesterday...Well, Lexi aka Azzaria could not imagine there is a baby in the mummy's buto buto. Taira kinda understood, and now its no longer mummy's big buto, its baby. So, son, i'd like to call you Adel. How does that sound to you? We'll discuss that with Dad sometime when we can. He  might be having his own idea. I love you son. I really do love you. I can't wait...oh yes i can wait. Am waiting for the day you'll come home. The day you'll teach ya sisters how to ride a bike...boys usually have a way of learning these things on their own. Make no mistake..I can ride a bike. Am just getting too old. Though we'll work something out when u come here. about that little...

Dear Son, its the 16th day May 2012. You are 21 weeks old in my womb. Meaning we have another 19 weeks to go before you can see everyone else. Am pretty much sure, you've heard voices and are wondering what's going on. My dear boy, worry not. All in good time. I can feel you kick and grumble. First thing today, i felt you stretch, well, i understand. I did over sleep too. Was a long quiet night. So, let me introduce the voices you've been hearing. The first voice you had this morning, "we go susu potty" that was ya big sister. Azzaria Alexandria Namuyimba. You come after her. She's your immediate big sister. Quite choosy and assertive. You two should hit it off big. There was another voice, "Mummy, I have pain here". That was Altairah Nalubowa Namuyimba. She's your other Big sister. Older than Azzie. This one is a caring one. Quite moody but she cares for her own. Reminds me of her Dad sometimes. There was a time when he'd go without so that ...

This is home. I've been away for what seems like eternity. Like its often said....east or west....home is best. Am loving the feel of my warm almost thread bare blanket....smells so home.....mmmmmmmhhh-how i missed the tiny ants running up the latrine wall. Home....how many years has it been? 10? 20? who knows? I lost count. Remember how i used to hide behind this same building...yes the latrine building to run away from the group heading to the village borehole for water. And now, here I am sitting again....this time not hiding from a trip to the water place....but hiding from My Beloved Grandma's cries of pain. She always looked so invincible to me....Like someone who would never die. She is not supposed to go just yet. Dear God, please here my plea. I still need her. Even when am dodging boda boda cyclists back in Kampala, or trying to close a deal that will make my boss millions richer....at the end of the day....I still need to know Jajja Flo is there somewhere and when ...